Taking that next step: Me vs Social Media

Many of those who are creative might recall that initial apprehension that takes over you once someone asks to see your art, even the act of just telling someone that you are a "creative" is not something you tend to divulge lightly.

Apart from my husband, I was not sure whether I was ready to let the world see my work or more specifically I was not ready to allow people to know that it was ME attempting to run an "art page". I felt embarrassed and did not want to deal with any repercussions that would follow.

I now know that this massive sense of apprehension was due to an 'internal self doubting inquest': Would I be laughed at? Will people think I have gone mad after moving abroad? Will people think I lack any form of real artistic skill? Will people think I am wasting my time? What will people think....

As the fear of putting it all out there began to build, I started to scroll through numerous instagram accounts of photography, travel and art and discovered that social network platforms had opened up a marvelous digital door to the world of highly skilled people. I gazed at hundreds of accounts showcasing their beyond amazing talents and it made me want to bury myself deeper into a hole where no form of human judgement would be able to find me.

In January 2019, I decided to slowly crawl out of my shell. Having already gotten rid of that mind numbing facebook app I was doubtful whether an Instagram account would be any different. I felt like I was taking back an ex boyfriend. Allowing him to have access to my memories, my contacts and my creations but most importantly allowing him to be in control of how I would feel. Despite my huge reluctance, I chastised myself for being exceptionally neurotic and decided that as an adult, I should be capable of handling the effects of social networks.

So on January 25th I posted a little doodle of monstera leaves, a small illustration that I had created using watercolour pencils. There it was. My scribbling now available for the world to see and scrutinise. I awaited the comments and prepared myself for a barrage of emotions.

Monstera doodle